Petani dan perjalanan

Pada cara yang buruk, bahwa seorang petani dengan gerobak dimuat, dan ditarik oleh seekor keledai tidak bisa memanjat bukit. Seorang wisatawan membantu mereka untuk lulus mendorong gerobak dengan belakang. Gerobak ujung bukit, cara yang lebih baik.
Orang desa mengucapkan terima kasih wisatawan Nya:
- Terima kasih, Pak, bahwa Anda membantu saya. Dengan satu keledai aku tidak pernah masuk ke bukit.

Peasant and traveler

On a bad way, that a farmer with a cart loaded, and pulled by a donkey could not climb a hill. A traveler help them to pass pushing the cart by rear. The cart the end the hill, a better way.
The villager say thanks his traveler:
- Thank you, sir, that you helped me. With one donkey I never get into the hill.

Two blondes talk

Two blondes talk:
- You know, yesterday I did the pregnancy test!
The other very curious:
- The questions were hard?

Nobody and Poorly

Nobody and Poorly go to great.
Nobody is put in water to swim and suddenly begins to cry for help ...
The poorly, seeing that drown, he take the phone and call the lifeguards ....
- Hello, Nobody it drown
that lifeguard:
- You are poorly ?
- Yes I am

Husband, before leaving on mission

Husband, before leaving on mission, addressing his wife:
- I hope that during my absence, I will not cheat!
- Do not worry dear! Such thoughts I come only when you're near me!

Blond jokes

A blonde says to a friend:
- Yesterday I went to an ophthalmologist.
- And what did he say?
- He told me to learn the alphabet.

The confession

A parishioner he says his preacher
- During today's sermon stole my wallet and watch!
- Hallelujah! Finally he draws the sinner!

Question and answer blond jokes

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking.

Q: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
A: She grabs a bowl.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. c0pyr|ghta!haj0k3s

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E, between M and W, or at the end?"

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.

Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what number came first.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: Why did it take the blonde seven days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago?
A: She kept seeing signs that read "stop clean bathroom".

Kanibal di tempat kerja

Kanibal di kanibal Beberapa tempat kerja baru-baru ini disewa oleh sebuah perusahaan besar. "Anda semua bagian dari tim kami sekarang," kata perwakilan HR selama briefing menyambut. "Anda mendapatkan semua manfaat yang biasa dan Anda bisa pergi ke kantin untuk makan sesuatu, tapi tolong jangan makan salah satu dari karyawan lain"

Juan Gonzalez

Dua detektif Meksiko sedang menyelidiki pembunuhan Juan Gonzalez. "Bagaimana dia tewas?" Tanya salah satu detektif. "Dengan pistol golf," jawab detektif lainnya. "Sebuah pistol golf?! Apakah pistol golf ""? Saya tidak tahu. Tapi jelas membuat lubang di Juan. "


Joe was trying to lead a horse in the street, but was having much trouble getting the horse’s cooperation. A passerby stopped and asked if he could help. Joe was grateful and gladly accepted.

After much pushing and shoving, they finally got the horse to the front door of Joe’s department. Joe indicated that the horse was to go through the door. More pushing and shoving.

Once inside, Joe and the passerby managed to work the horse up the steps and into Joe’s apartment on the third floor, then through the living room and into the bathtub.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, the good Samaritan said, “I don’t want to be nosy, but this is most unusual…”

Joe said, “When my wife comes home, she’ll look in the bathroom and say, ‘There’s a horse in there!’ “

“Hey, how many times in a man’s life will they ever get the chance to tell their wife, ‘I know! I know!’?”

Di apotek:

Di apotek:
-Jangan marah, saya entah bagaimana memiliki solusi untuk melarutkan gigi?
-Tidak! Tapi Anda perlu?
-Aku menelan gigi palsu!
-Dan apakah ada masalah?
-Tidak, tidak, tapi ketika aku mengelap pantat saya menggigit tangan!

Banc of pemabuk

Seorang pria mabuk di sebuah bar meminta pelayan untuk melayani tiga kopi.
- Tiga kopi?
- Ya, satu untukku, satu untuk Anda dan satu untuk matte
Hari berikutnya orang mabuk yang sama meminta pelayan yang sama:
- Tiga kopi ...
- Tiga?
- Ya ... tiga ... satu untukku, satu untuk Anda dan satu untuk matte. Pelayan tidak bisa menahan diri, melompati meja dan pemukulan pada bundel mabuk. Sehari kemudian, penuh bar jenis permainan. Pelayan bertanya ironisnya:
- Tiga kopi ...
- Tidak menggesek jawaban, hanya dua: satu untukku dan satu untuk matte. Bagi Anda tidak, seperti yang Anda resah.