tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57813117246441111992023-11-15T11:16:08.729-08:00Lelucon - JokeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-42194647712415102502012-03-13T04:01:00.000-07:002012-03-13T04:01:43.335-07:00Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?<br />
Because it had a nice groove in it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-61498539432604024632011-12-26T17:30:00.000-08:002011-12-26T17:30:29.404-08:00A soldier goes to his commanderA soldier goes to his commander and says:<br />
- Allow to report! Among us are fags!<br />
- What you say you rely on it, soldier?<br />
- Well, the fact that my lipstick is gone! ...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-64634116340259902322011-12-25T09:57:00.000-08:002011-12-25T09:57:00.975-08:00Barbie divorcedA father remembers that his daughter's day. Enter a toy store and asks the clerk:<br />
- How much is the Barbie doll in the window?<br />
- We have: Barbie in gymnastics - euro 19.95, Barbie playing volleyball - euro 19.95, Barbie shopping - euro 19.95, Barbie at the beach - euro 19.95, Barbie dance - euro 19.95, Barbie divorced - 265.95 euro<br />
The man, astonished, ask:<br />
- And why divorced Barbie cost 265.95 euro?<br />
- "Barbie divorced" has: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's rod, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer ...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-856089169159301782011-12-24T19:10:00.001-08:002011-12-24T19:10:59.968-08:00The blonde and handbrakeA blonde walks quietly, when suddenly, without a driver sees a car that went. Aware of danger, jumps in the car and pull the handbrake. When out, nose to nose with the owner gives a very attractive man.<br />
- Began to walk alone, but I jumped into it and I pulled the handbrake! she says, very proud of her feat.<br />
- I know, because I have been to push the car!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-68070900321135831102011-12-24T19:04:00.001-08:002011-12-24T19:04:42.401-08:00The competitionA rooster held a meeting with the hens. Unpack the box and out of her ostrich egg.<br />
- I do not want to make critical, but it does not hurt to be aware of what is in the state competition!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-32034296063144926842011-12-24T18:59:00.001-08:002011-12-24T18:59:10.143-08:00Used a lotion that delay hair loss!<span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span class="hps">One</span> <span class="hps">fell</span> <span class="hps">on the 10th floor</span><span>.</span> <span class="hps">After a while</span> <span class="hps">he fell</span> <span class="hps">and a</span> <span class="hps">tuft of</span> <span class="hps">hair</span><span>.</span> <span class="hps">Used a</span> <span class="hps">lotion that</span> <span class="hps">delay</span> <span class="hps">hair loss</span><span class="">!</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-38458314356888348322011-12-24T18:57:00.001-08:002011-12-24T18:57:59.339-08:00Who will die next year?<span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span class="hps">Being very</span> <span class="hps">meticulous</span><span>, the English</span> <span class="hps">have</span> <span class="hps">statistics</span> <span class="hps">on</span> <span class="hps">how many people</span> <span class="hps">can predict</span> <span class="hps">who</span> <span class="hps">will die</span> <span class="hps">next year</span><span>.</span> <span class="hps">On the other</span> <span class="hps">hand,</span> <span class="hps">however,</span> <span class="hps">Sicilians</span> <span class="hps">can</span> <span class="hps">specify</span> <span class="hps">some</span> <span class="hps">names</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-70340312782130916362011-12-24T18:56:00.000-08:002011-12-24T18:56:00.328-08:00Sec bankIf someone throws a stone at you, throw you in it with a flower. But first, make sure the flower is in the pot!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-83069906012747006792011-12-24T18:53:00.001-08:002011-12-24T18:53:40.026-08:00Pencil and ear- Do you not know where's my pencil? a clerk asks his colleague.<br />
- Yes, by ear.<br />
- Man, do not complicate my life. After the which ear?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-10421161622577479342011-12-24T18:51:00.000-08:002011-12-24T18:51:10.407-08:00Our company is very obsessed with cleanlinessThe owner of a company talking to a young man who looking for work:<br />
-First, our company is very obsessed with cleanliness, says the owner. Have you wiped your feet on the mat before coming here?<br />
-Oh, yes! Of course ....<br />
-Second, the employer continues, we ask our partners honestly. There is no entrance carpet ....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-91373295614514741302011-12-14T06:14:00.000-08:002011-12-14T06:14:29.371-08:00Wife, husband and toilet brush<div class="almost_half_cell" id="gt-res-content"><div dir="ltr" style="zoom: 1;"><span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span class="hps">Wife</span><span>:</span> <span class="hps atn">"</span><span>Honey</span><span>, did you notice</span><span>?</span> <span class="hps">I bought</span> <span class="hps">new for the</span> <span class="hps">toilet</span> <span class="hps">brush</span><span>.</span><span>"</span><br />
<span class="hps">Husband:</span> <span class="hps">"I saw</span><span>,</span> <span class="hps">but</span> <span class="hps">still</span> <span class="hps">prefer</span> <span class="hps">toilet paper</span><span class="">.</span><span class="">"</span></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-82336500501271000382011-12-14T06:12:00.001-08:002011-12-14T06:12:54.011-08:00Dream professionsJoe, Mike, Mary and Tom were talking among themselves about their dream professions.<br />
- I would like to be a lawyer so that I can defend my countrymen, 'said Joe.<br />
- I would like to be parliamentary, so that I can legislate for the benefit of my fellow citizens, 'said Mike.<br />
- I want to be a doctor, to treat the poor fellow, says Mary.<br />
-Tom, what do you want to be?, Asks Joe.<br />
- I want to be a countryman, he replied TomUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-9586319366886242032011-12-14T06:10:00.001-08:002011-12-14T06:10:23.125-08:003 drunkards<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">3 drunkards knock at a woman’s door. The woman opens the door and gets surprised! One of the drunkards says: “<i><span style="font-style: italic;">we helped your husband to get home, but we don’t know which one of us is the husband</span></i>” </span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-12406798319388681502011-12-14T06:00:00.001-08:002011-12-14T06:00:55.433-08:00A blonde in pharmacy<div class="almost_half_cell" id="gt-res-content"><div dir="ltr" style="zoom: 1;"><span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span class="hps">A</span> <span class="hps">blonde in</span> <span class="hps">pharmacy</span><span>:</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">Do you have</span> <span class="hps">something cheap</span> <span class="hps">weight loss</span><span>?</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">Yes, the</span> <span class="hps">patch</span><span>!</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">And</span> <span class="hps">where to</span> <span class="hps">put</span><span>?</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">On the</span> <span class="hps">mouth</span><span class="">!</span></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-91932789610719993702011-12-14T05:59:00.001-08:002011-12-14T05:59:20.961-08:00Blonde and coffeeA blonde secretary on her first day at work, you need to do<br />
coffee from her colleagues. What never made coffee, goes to<br />
restaurant across the street with a thermos in hand:<br />
- Mr. waiter, enter this coffee thermos 6?<br />
- Yes, lady, get more. - Says the waiter.<br />
- Oh what good's it! I've saved! Take 6 coffee then. two of<br />
sugar, two without and two cappuccinos.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-24162893390383015122011-12-14T05:51:00.001-08:002011-12-14T05:51:53.596-08:00Poker with wife- How, you play poker at home. wife?<br />
- What to do? It's the only way to recover a portion of my salary.!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-55480102869760497482011-12-14T05:49:00.000-08:002011-12-14T05:49:39.401-08:00Wardrobe renewal- I definitely need to order some new dresses.<br />
- Well, says the husband, but all your cupboards are full of dresses!<br />
- I know, but all my neighbors saw them.!<br />
- If it would be better to change the neighborhood, would be much cheaper.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-16545316702220166452011-12-14T05:45:00.000-08:002011-12-14T05:45:35.690-08:00The secretary- Miss, asks chief of secretary, who usually do you on Sunday?<br />
- Nothing, said the secretary.<br />
- Then, I would like to remind you that today is not Sunday.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-35992201180106211902011-11-17T16:45:00.000-08:002011-11-17T16:45:26.729-08:00Bar and diamondA woman calls her husband angry:<br />
- Where are you?<br />
- My dear, do you remember that the jewelry store where you saw that big diamond ring? You told me that you love it and I told myself that someday I'll buy you ...<br />
Woman with a soft voice:<br />
- Offf ... My dear, yes! .... I remember.<br />
- E, ...... I am in the bar next!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-34024611614567457442011-11-17T16:40:00.000-08:002011-11-17T16:40:10.492-08:00Compatibility of charactersIn a process of divorce, the judge asks the applicant:<br />
- Madam, you are sure of what you ask? You want to divorce for Compatibility of characters? Could not be otherwise?<br />
She answers:<br />
- No, your honor! It is for compatibility: I like movies, as my husband! I like going to the beach, and his asemeneal! I like going to the theater, he just! I like men, and by the way!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-1878657657013143282011-11-17T16:37:00.000-08:002011-11-17T16:37:37.958-08:00Discussed with employees about difficult timesThe director of a company discussed with employees about difficult times:<br />
- I see you all complain about the financial crisis, that worsened living conditions because of the economic situation that you feel rewarded the effort so far ... but I do not know if you know, but this year's salary that you receive is more high as 25%!<br />
A worker in the room:<br />
- Excuse me, bigger than the salary in which year??<br />
- Than in the coming year ...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-7229654950181866512011-11-17T16:31:00.001-08:002011-11-17T16:31:57.148-08:00A perfect woman<div class="almost_half_cell" id="gt-res-content"><div dir="ltr" style="zoom: 1;"><span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span class="hps">My dear</span><span>, I</span> <span class="hps">looked like a</span> <span class="hps">perfect</span> <span class="hps">woman</span><span>?</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">No</span><span>, love</span><span>!</span> <span class="hps">You're</span> <span class="hps">much more!</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">And</span> <span class="hps">how much more</span><span>?</span><br />
<span class="hps">-</span> <span class="hps">With</span> <span class="hps">about</span> <span class="hps">50 kg</span> <span class="hps">...</span></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-10771847501042158062011-11-17T16:30:00.001-08:002011-11-17T16:30:59.768-08:00The wife asks the husband:The wife asks the husband:<br />
- Have you seen the type that saved me when I drown?<br />
- It passed on to me to present apologies.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-22386599944829915502011-11-17T16:27:00.000-08:002011-11-17T16:27:59.223-08:00The boss tells employee:The boss tells employee:<br />
- You do everything so slowly! Think slowly, slowly write, speak softly, move slowly!<br />
-You do anything fast?<br />
- Yes, get tired quickly!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5781311724644111199.post-15041058831830041162011-11-17T16:17:00.000-08:002011-11-17T16:17:38.222-08:00Woody Allen's humor ...I have some wonderful children. Thank God that my wife cheated me<br />
<br />
Until the wedding night, my wife was afraid of the dark. After that he saw me naked and then fear and light ...<br />
<br />
My wife is the cook unfinished. We always say prayer after dinner ...<br />
<br />
Once someone stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw looked somewhat like thieves. I replied that no, but noted the number plate ...<br />
<br />
One day, I called my wife and I said: My dear, I think of you and suddenly hit me insane lust for love. To which she asked: But who's the phone?<br />
<br />
I told my dentist that my teeth were yellowed. His advice was to go with a tie and brown ...<br />
<br />
Today is one day absolutely negative. I awoke in the morning, I took the shirt and i broke two buttons. We seized briefcase - and they handle broke. Now I am afraid to walk down the toilet ...<br />
<br />
I told my psychiatrist that are sad, because I hate myself all over the world. He said do not be ridiculous, because you do not yet met with everyone ...<br />
<br />
When I was a kid my parents moved often from one house to another, but I found myself every time ...<br />
<br />
My wife and me I lived happily for 20 years. Then we met each other ...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0