Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?

Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?
Because it had a nice groove in it!

A soldier goes to his commander

A soldier goes to his commander and says:
- Allow to report! Among us are fags!
- What you say you rely on it, soldier?
- Well, the fact that my lipstick is gone! ...

Barbie divorced

A father remembers that his daughter's day. Enter a toy store and asks the clerk:
- How much is the Barbie doll in the window?
- We have: Barbie in gymnastics - euro 19.95, Barbie playing volleyball - euro 19.95, Barbie shopping - euro 19.95, Barbie at the beach - euro 19.95, Barbie dance - euro 19.95, Barbie divorced - 265.95 euro
The man, astonished, ask:
- And why divorced Barbie cost 265.95 euro?
- "Barbie divorced" has: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's rod, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer ...

The blonde and handbrake

A blonde walks quietly, when suddenly, without a driver sees a car that went. Aware of danger, jumps in the car and pull the handbrake. When out, nose to nose with the owner gives a very attractive man.
- Began to walk alone, but I jumped into it and I pulled the handbrake! she says, very proud of her feat.
- I know, because I have been to push the car!

The competition

A rooster held a meeting with the hens. Unpack the box and out of her ostrich egg.
- I do not want to make critical, but it does not hurt to be aware of what is in the state competition!

Used a lotion that delay hair loss!

One fell on the 10th floor. After a while he fell and a tuft of hair. Used a lotion that delay hair loss!

Who will die next year?

Being very meticulous, the English have statistics on how many people can predict who will die next year. On the other hand, however, Sicilians can specify some names